Ah, the monologue. Is there anything sweeter than when your favorite TV character tears into a tightly-written, well-crafted, passionately performed soliloquy that’s so powerful it doesn’t just change the scene… it CHANGES THE GAME? You may contend that there are, in fact, better things in life than a TV speech… such as puppies, or ice cream, or puppies eating ice cream.
Sure those things are sweet, but not nearly as saccharine as Character Grades’ Top Ten TV Monologues.This list counts down the most dramatic, comedic, inspirational and rousing rants ever recited in primetime! So without any further adieu, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for a speech! Speech! Speech!
10. Lost – Jack’s First Speech
While a slew of sensational speeches were orated on that ambiguous South Pacific Island, perhaps none were as significant as Jack’s very first. This monologue from episode four not only established Jack as the Oceanic Six leader, but his message resonated throughout the group’s remaining time together in purgatory… Er, I mean “on the Island.”
9. The X Files – Musings of Cigarette Smoking Man
Omniscient, enigmatic and brilliant – The Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files was a nearly infallible villain. It wasn’t until the season 4 episode entitled “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man” that we got a glimpse of the human side of (the original) Smokey. Dismayed that the ending to a short story he wrote was significantly altered in editing (#WhitePeopleProblems), C.S.M. takes a page out of the Forest Gump book (the one with the feather bookmark) by analogizing the complexities of life to a box of drug store chocolates. Cut the SMOKE and mirrors, the king of manipulation sits atop a broken throne. The X-Files‘ mythology would have it no other way.
8. Community – Señor Chang’s Intro to Spanish 101
By the sophomore episode of its freshman season, NBC’s Community had caught the nation’s eye, but could this epic cast of comedy Gods deliver the goods? Paging Dr. Ken Jeong, who put Community on the map by delivering this epic intro to Spanish 101 speech like mother-fucking Dominoes! Not only is this monologue both hilarious and HIGHLY quotable (“YA BIT!”), it’s the most important speech on Spanish speaking Asian-Americans to date… at least the only one you’ve ever heard.
No Buffy Season 5 finale? That’s up there with the Cathedral, Carousel and Coach speeches for me. At least in terms of tears count.