It’s easy for love to look perfect on TV, so why would we even waste our time talking about successful fictional relationships? SNOOZEFEST. Misery loves company, and everyone has had at least one soul-crushing, life-ruining, heart-shattering break-up that causes you to lose faith in not only romance, but in humanity in general (#YayLove).
In homage to the ghosts of our relationships past, this Valentine’s Day let’s discuss the TV breakups that were able to thaw our icy hearts. It might be morbid and masochistic, but so is everyone’s love life at some point. Get your Kleenex and ice cream ready, we’re starting the countdown:
10. Mad Men – Don & Betty
The Inevitable Breakup
Betty Draper’s hubby is perfect on paper, but absent in the flesh (which is a shame because… yum). In the rare instances when he wasn’t lying about sleeping with other women, Don was lying about his sordid past. Adultery strained their marriage to a breaking point, and for Betty, identity-fraud was the last straw. Don is a 60s Rumpelstiltskin, able to spin anything into gold. Yet as his marriage falls apart, he realizes that he can’t sell a life to Betty when there’s nothing real behind the idea of their family. For Don (and all of us), this breakup is a good reminder that until you know who you really are, you won’t be able to truly be with anyone else. Don and Megan the secretary are totes already a contender for next year’s breakup list. #HopingForTheWo
9. Freaks and Geeks – Lindsay & Nick
The Parental Interference Breakup
Nothing bruises the young fragile ego like getting dumped by your gf via her mom (except for maybe getting dumped BY your girlfriend’s mom. I’m looking at you, Luke and Julie Cooper!) Unknown to poor, nurturing Mrs. Weir, Lindsey didn’t have the balls to pull the trigger on her break-up with Nick, even though she’s ambivalence-central about their relationship. Brimming with devastation, poor little stoner Nick showcases all the emotional depth that’s made Jason Segel a star (that and DRACULA’s OPERA). Lindsey learns that despite your best intentions and the kindest and most de-sexualized mothers, you can’t avoid hurting people in the crazy little game of love.
8. ER – Abby & Luka
The Clearly Overdue Breakup
People handle conflict in different ways. Luka and Abby handled it by saying all the most terrible things they can think of to each other. These doctors know where the jugular is and they go for it. I’m pretty sure the technical term for this altercation is “relationship euthanasia”. When Luka tells Abby she’s not pretty or special as she stands defeated in her awful 90s mom jeans, you consider her the breakup loser*. Yet everyone who’s seen Beginners and witnessed this haircut knows that’s not the case. Notch, Lockheart.
*Every break-up has a winner and a loser. If you don’t believe this, you definitely lost in your last breakup.
I’m sorry. I cannot accept this article. How can anyone read anything about the greatest TV Character breakup without the greatest one EVER?! Take a stroll back in time to the 1990′s at Bayside High when Zack finally realizes that Kelly is messing around with JEFF!!
Now this is heartbreaking in many ways….First – Kelly cheats on Zack with a guy that may be 40 something in real life! And with a show of 20-something year olds that still act like high school kids – that is just SICK!!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005258/
Second, how bad is a breakup of true love? Bad, huh? Now how bad is a breakup of true love while listening to Slater and Jesse singing a Michael Bolton song in the background?! JUST PLAIN TORTURE!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5cr3x_saved-by-the-bell-breakup_shortfilms
Thank god for the SBTB wedding special which brought true love back together once again.
Can we still be friends?…..Forever…”To be Continued…”
Motherfucking THIS!
When Pinkman had to break up with Jane in the 2nd season of Breaking Bad because she died, I was sad.