Dear Terra Nova,
By the time you get this letter I will be reviewing a new show. I wanted to tell you this in person but you are a television program so that’s impossible… I mean, I guess I could have told you while you were airing last night but then that would just be me talking to my television like a crazy person. I also didn’t want to bother you while you were telling another boring hour-long story to the dumb country cousins who still watch you every Monday.
Listen Terra Nova, it’s not you, it me. I’m just at a place in my life where I can’t watch insultingly lame special effects and two dimensional characters. Also, I’ve been cheating on you with Dexter, Breaking Bad, the NBC comedy line up, and some other, better shows that I can’t think of right now. I know what you’re thinking, I’m a whore, a floozy, a harlet. I’ve heard it all before. But if being a whore means not having to watch Josh impress that one girl on your show who’s name I never remembered by playing his stupid guitar than I am the whoriest whore who ever whored.
I want you to know that although you were a catastrophic let down and I didn’t enjoy watching you in a traditional sense, I did get a lot of joy out of writing mean things about you on Character Grades and then promoting those mean things through social media outlets. I’m thankful for that joy and you should be proud to have provided it to me. Before I leave forever I want to give you something. It’s a song I wrote, just for you. Think of it as something to remember me by….
Goodbye to you, Terra Nova. I wish you the best of luck.
Sincerely,
This just blew my mind and warmed the cockles of my heart. Is this avail on iTunes yet because it would get more downloads than Terra Nova, obvi.
I’ve never watched this show, and now I never need to.
Your song might be the greatest thing that’s happened to me in at least 36 hours.
Well played, sir.
Your Josh impression is now my new ringtone for “Do Not Answer” contacts. Thank you x forever.
Gauntlet thrown. When’s Brian writing his Bon Voyage, Pan Am song?
Hey BJ, Kelly and Marianne, thanks for the kudos, I’m glad my emotional break up song plucked your heartstrings… A lot of tear filled, sleepless nights went into it’s production, it was very therapeutic
Lucas Taylor is so hot. Favs on The Commander, Zoe, and the dinosaurs.
I don’t know what any of that means