The Vampire Diaries Season 3: Episode 22: The Departed “It’s Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here.” In last night’s 3rd Season Finale of The Vampire Diaries, Elena’s flashbacks to simpler times wasn’t the only blast from the past. For a finale that promised twists and surprises and death and destruction, everything was… oddly familiar. Some people died… but not really. Elena chose between stefan and Damon… but not really. The Originals promised to...
The Vampire Diaries Season 3: Episode 21: “Before Sunset” God, watching this show is just exhausting. Don’t get me wrong – I still enjoy it, and I’m still planning on tuning in until you’re prying the remote from my cold, dead fingers – but after every episode ends I always have to take a few minutes, catch my breath, and ask myself, “What the hell did I just watch?” A quick recap, for those...
The Vampire Diaries Season 3: Episode 20: Do Not Go Gentle ”That’s not a best case scenario.” – Caroline You know, sometimes when life gets rough, and my friends and family are dying all around me, and I’m being stalked by a psychopathic immortal murderer, and I can’t seem to decide between two undead hotties… I just wanna dance. Elena Gilbert and I have that in common. With the fate of pretty much every...
The Vampire Diaries Season 3: Episode 19: “Heart of Darkness” “So, you traveled across the country to get me to talk to a dead vampire?” “Dead vampire is redundant, but yes.” Protip: Watching an episode of The Vampire Diaries after Happy Hour is simultaneously the best and worst decision you could ever make. A good 70% of my notes is variations of “Shutup, , you’re drunk.” And upon a second reading, I’m not entirely...
The Vampire Diaries Season 3: Episode 18: A Murder of One “My passions overtake my morals on a daily basis.” Happy Friday, everyone, and welcome to another relentless judging of everyone’s favorite CW show about vampires: “Let’s Kill Klaus! Shit, We Can’t!” I’m far too lazy to count exactly how many times our supernatural suckers have tried and failed to kill The OG Vamp, but it’s starting to get a little old. After last...
The Vampire Diaries Season3: Episode 17: “Break On Through” “Unless you’re interested in a Sage/Rebecca sex sandwich, I suggest you make yourself scarce.” Dear writers of The Vampire Diaries, Honestly, what’s the point of compiling the hottest cast on TV if you’re not going to let us watch them bone in a variety of groupings and venues? It’s wasteful, and quite frankly, it’s rude. If you’re going to imply threesomes and then puss out...
The Vampire Diaries Season 3: Episode 16: “1912″ “I’m mean, you hate me, the earth is back on its axis.” – Eyeballs McGee Weee’rrreee back! After all of the excitement of the past few episodes, a nice break for a couple of weeks was definitely needed, because it was a little bit draining . Though, looking back on last night’s episode, the folks in Mystic Falls obviously don’t share my feelings. A...
The Vampire Diaries Season 3: Episode 15: All My Children “For some reason, everyone wants to bend over backwards to save your life, which is incredibly annoying.”- Rebekah, summing up this show in one sentence. Mystic Falls, we have a problem. And, no, I don’t mean the serial killer that’s creeping around town and getting all stab-happy. This is much bigger. Remember in when you were younger, and out at the store or something...
The Vampire Diaries Season 3: Episode 14: “Dangerous Liaisons” You drove a dagger through my back. It hurt. – Rebekah After hundreds of years, the Original Vampire family is back together. And like any normal family, they jump right back into mommy issues, sibling bickering, “you’re not my father”s, and a blood pact designed to murder them all. Now THAT’s a Modern Family. And because every family needs a party to celebrate their reunion,...
The Vampire Diaries Season 3: Episode 13: Bringing Out The Dead “Dear Elijah, Let’s get together and plot the destruction of your brother. XOXO, Damon.” Apparently, the line of Petrova Doppelgangers doesn’t just extend to looks. This episode, we found out that it also includes what I’m assuming is magical vagina powers. That’s right, the OG Petrova, (Tatya? Charlotte? She has so many names.) was the catalyst in a love triangle between Elijah and...
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