Report Cards

Homeland. Season 1 Report Card.

January 10, 2012
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Homeland. Season 1 Report Card.

Season one is over. Unlike the bloodbaths offered by The Walking Dead, True Blood and American Horror Story, all the core characters survived. But if this show has taught us anything, it’s that to survive is not enough; to survive with purpose is the essence of life – and the thread uniting each of the characters’ arcs. (Except for Jessica and Chris Brody who seem only to need errands, hobbies and bad haircuts.) Torment....

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American Horror Story. Season 1 Report Card.

December 28, 2011
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American Horror Story. Season 1 Report Card.

Season One of American Horror Story was full of gore, sex, soft core porn, lies and a whole lot of ghosts. From the premiere to the finale, we were kept on our toes about who was dead, who was alive and ultimately, who was the rubber man (it was Tate and he’s dead). It’s kind of stupid that this show was even picked up for Season 2 considering we know Ryan Murphy plans a...

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Workaholics. Season 2 Report Card.

November 30, 2011
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Workaholics. Season 2 Report Card.

More of the same plagued our pals Adam, Anders, and Blake in the second season of Workaholics; love interests pitted the three against each other, swollen egos at times became insurmountable obstacles, and the slightest shortcomings of one routinely befell the entire group. Though despite these mawkish, overused problems that threatened to split up the “Best Friend Brigade”, the Brothers McMuffins managed to find ways to team up and tackle a few…interesting…problems head on,...

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Breaking Bad. Season 4 Report Card.

October 17, 2011
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Breaking Bad. Season 4 Report Card.

Just like that, another chapter of America’s most riveting dramedy closes, meaning that another hour is spent by me, in the shower, furiously scrubbing away at the layers of inherent shame caked onto my soul for having once sympathized with the formerly pathetic, but now monster-of-a-human-being that is Walter White. But Season 4 of Breaking Bad was more than just the usual smattering of desperation and violence wrapped in a blanket of felonious drug manufacturing and...

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True Blood. Season 4 Report Card.

September 14, 2011
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True Blood. Season 4 Report Card.

The season four finale was a bloodbath. Two characters that have been with the series since episode one (Tara and Nan) are dead (although Rutina Wesley has admitted she’s unsure whether her character will make an appearance in season five). Jesus, Debbie Pelt and countless extras join in their season four mass grave. Some may hail the season as a success … and if you’re one of them, let me know why. But I...

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Games of Thrones. Season 1 Report Card.

July 1, 2011
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Games of Thrones. Season 1 Report Card.

Season One of HBO’s newest show was quite nearly perfection. It pleased diehard fans of the books, enticed viewers new to Martin’s sprawling, epic quest for power and left everyone wanting more. The show successfully connected characters distributed throughout a vast realm, many of whom have never met, into one understandable, coherent plot line. However, with so many characters, the end-of-season report card is like a roster at an over-crowded New York City public...

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Pretty Little Liars. Season 1 Report Card.

June 13, 2011
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Pretty Little Liars. Season 1 Report Card.

All these characters are SO last season.  We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve been irrationally scared for poor Hanna! (LOVE HER!). It’s all about the journey, so let’s see what our fave little liars were up to. Remember, a bad final grade isn’t the end of the world. Global warming is. Aria. B- is the least exciting little liar. She’s got her life mostly under control. Her parents were on the outs because of her...

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Glee. Season 2 Report Card.

May 31, 2011
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Glee. Season 2 Report Card.

The pupils of McKinley had an epic year, coping with large issues like teen bullying, underage drinking, sexuality and mental illness – while also struggling with epic questions like: “Who will be prom queen?”, “Is there a Santa Claus?” and the ever-pressing “Who is the diva-iest diva for them all?” …It was no Season 1. Will Schuster. B- When someone needs a hand to hold, Will Schuster’s jazz hands are there. When responsible educational...

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Parks and Recreation. Season 3 Report Card.

May 26, 2011
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Parks and Recreation. Season 3 Report Card.

Anyone with a brain and a healthy respect for mini-horses knows how fantastic this season of P&R was. The cast continues to evolve and compliment one another. Their stories are surprising while staying true to the past and paving interesting future happenings. I smell an Emmy… Leslie Knope. A+ Leslie planned a horse funeral, fought in a pile of garbage, and saved the Parks Department in the midst of a looming government shutdown. Oh,...

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Community. Season 2 Report Card.

May 25, 2011
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Community. Season 2 Report Card.

Rarely are shows that are as off the walls as Community as deeply committed to character. Sure, the study group reenacted the plot of Apollo 13 in a Kentucky Fried Chicken sponsored Winnebago. And, yes, Halloween was spent fighting a government induced spread of zombiefying disease. But through it all our little band of misfit toys  – sorry, that was just the Christmas episode - students struggle their way through the messy but real...

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