Once Upon a Time Season 1: Episode 22: “A Land Without Magic” “You twisted little imp.” Once Upon a Time… this season ended! After 22 weeks of magical stories, dazzling special effects and breakthrough performances, we have finally reached the end. And it’s kind of a bummer. The curse is finally broken, and the evil-doers are positioning themselves for next season, but half the episode was devoted to Prince Charming finding Snow White. Which...
Once Upon a Time Season 1: Episode 21: “An Apple Red as Blood” “It’s just a morsel.” This week’s episode was all about sacrifice: sacrificing for your children (Regina and Emma), sacrificing for your true love (Snow White) and sacrificing all reason and logic (the audience). Apples also got a pretty bad rap. First, they were portrayed as enormous, waxy gushers (“This is a misrepresentation of our nutrition and texture” – Fruit lobby). Next, they...
Once Upon A Time Season 1: Episode 20: “The Stranger” “You’re our only hope.” “Then you’re all screwed.” - Alternate scene from Star Wars Things are coming to a salty, chowdery simmer on everyone’s favorite magic and cooking-based New England drama, Once Upon A Fish Wife’s Tail. Good, dressed in leather and tasseled pasties, is fighting against evil the only way it can: with wordy, boring jaunts into the moonlit woods. At this rate,...
Once Upon A Time Season 1: Episode 19: “The Return” “A typewriter wrapped in an enigma wrapped in stubble.” Previously on Once Upon A Time, I have no idea what happened, because it was so many weeks ago. One hundred magical lands have been born and died in the time between then and now. What is this show about again? The invention of the printing press? But this week, we learned about the terrible repercussions...
Once Upon A Time Season 1: Episode 18: “The Stable Boy” “You ride like a man.” You’ll never guess who Regina learned to be a terrible mother from… Barbara Hershey! Yes, Barbara Hershey. Of the Hershey candy dynasty. One too many chocolate bars to the brain, that one. Instead of feeding her daughter Regina three square meals a day, she fed her three chocolate square-based meals a day. Mini-candy bars for breakfast, Kisses for lunch,...
Once Upon A Time Season 1: Episode 17: “Hat Trick” “I hate Wonderland.” This week, Once Upon A Time tackled the “Grimm’s fairy tale” Alice in Wonderland. Although “Hat Trick” was one of the strongest episodes of the season, I’m concerned that the writers have already jumped off the fairy tale train and into books at episode 17. If the show continues to add new characters every week instead of concentrating on the story, I’m...
Once Upon A Time Season 1: Episode 16: “Heart of Darkness” “Evil isn’t born, dearie. It’s made.” Legal trouble’s a-brewin’ in Storybrooke for everyone’s favorite school marm, Mary Margaret. Good thing Mr. Gold shows up in the right place (in front of MM’s jail cell) at the right time (literally as Emma tells MM she should hire a lawyer). People sure do have a habit of popping up “unexpectedly” exactly when it’s most convenient...
Once Upon A Time Season 1: Episode 15: “Red-Handed” “You’re dressed like a drag queen during fleet week.” “And you dress like Norman Bates when he’s dressed like Norman Bates’ mother.” – The most fashionable show on television! Once Upon A Time gave a whole new meaning to “man eater” this week when Red Riding Hood literally ate her boyfriend. This is pretty awesome family television. The show airs at 8:00pm… 7:00pm in the...
Once Upon A Time Season 1: Episode 14: “Dreamy” “Someone once told me you can do anything as long as you can dream it.” – Someone was probably on acid Just in case you weren’t paying attention for the past 14 weeks, “Dreamy” revisited the themes of true love, lying, and beautiful women falling in love with considerably less beautiful men. The tension built in episodes centered on the Evil Queen and Rumpelstiltskin is...
Once Upon A Time Season 1: Episode 13: “What Happened to Frederick” “I’m not your mother.” “According to Henry, I’m yours.” Another Mary Margaret/David/Snow White/Prince Charming/ijustcan’t episode! Literally no information about anything was revealed this week, other than confirmation that David is lacking in the ball region. James, his Prince Charming counterpart, however, is a much stronger and braver character, which once again raises the question: What happened to these characters’ brains during The...
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