Glee Season 3: Episode 20 & 21: “Props” & “Nationals” “It’s time to fight fire with the flaming flames of additional flaming gay fire.” Congrats, you guys! We made it through the marathon 2-hour block of Glee. Much like actually running 26.2 miles, this stretch of television alternated between being exhilarating (Santana’s Gaga performance) and excruciating (Tina and Rachel’s dialogue in the car). The route was filled with setbacks (a TEASE of a Freaky...
Glee Season 3: Episode 19: “Prom-asaurus” “The refreshments will be berries, meat and rainwater.” Who would have thought that anything dinosaur-inspired could be so boring? Somewhere in prehistoric heaven, herds of dinos are disgusted that an episode with their namesake was so trite and uninspired. To add insult to injury, this was the prom episode. Anyone who’s ever watched a John Hughes movie knows that prom is the where teenagers’ little brains, hearts, hopes...
Glee Season 3: Episode 18: “Choke” “Yeah, I might not graduate, but that’s OK because gowns are for ladies and tassels are for strippers.” You know that time you woke up feeling super refreshed the morning of your French 201 exam only to realize that the test started 20 minutes ago? Le shit! That sinking panic permeated your mornings years after graduation — you STILL wake up sweating and spitting out mispronounced strings of...
Glee Season 3: Episode 17: “Dance with Somebody” “Are we sure that’s appropriate?” A Whitney Houston Glee episode is so too soon that it makes Wilson Philips’s reality show and the proliferation of “barefoot” shoes seem not soon enough. That said, I haven’t enjoyed something that exploitive so much since the latest episode of Dance Moms. Albeit wildy inappropriate, the Whitney tribute gave Glee just what it needed — perspective. This episode channeled a...
Glee Season 3: Episode 16: “Saturday Night Glee-ver” “Disco sucks.” It comes on fast; chills, aches, sweats. Before you know it, you’re curled up in the fetal position, texting the ex-boyfriend you never wanted to see again to bring you some Goddamn chicken soup because desperate times. Your temperature is so high that you may spontaneously combust, which you’re sort of hoping for because even the gates of hell would be preferable to the...
Singing! Dancing! MOTHERFUCKING jazz hands! Glee and Smash, each in their own ostentatious way, have (two)stepped the joys of musicals from Broadway into your living room. As reality television has taught us, one thing makes watching live performances infinitely more entertaining: JUDGEMENT From the divalicious halls of McKinley to the blinding lights of Broadway, we compare musical numbers from television’s only musical shows to ask the ultimate showbiz question: Who did it best? ...
Glee Season 3: Episode 15: “Big Brother” “Don’t text and drive. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever done… besides sleeping with Puck.” The winter finale of Glee covered pregnancy, marriage, and death – leaving essentially no life milestone untouched. I’m convinced that this aggressive storytelling unlocked a Pandora’s box of cruelty into the universe, responsible for such travesties as Snooki’s pregnancy, a fourth American Pie movie and of course, the devastating fate of...
Glee Season 3: Episode 14: “On My Way” “New plan: I’m gonna fake an epileptic seizure” Well Gleeks, hold onto your fucking hats because I’m about I go super serious on your fragile spirits, which if you’re a human being with a human heart, are nearly destroyed after last night’s episode. Glee does this thing where they stand up in their (bedazzled) pulpit, and preach lessons of love, acceptance and openness as the bottom...
Glee Season 3: Episode 13: “Heart” “Fellas, there’s no need to fight, just pick up the girls that roll off of good old Puckersaurous here.” If there’s one thing that the American public wants on Valentine’s Day, it’s a long, steamy hour of Glee. Tonight Ryan Murphy offered viewers a rose of an episode that was stuffed with enough candy hearts and chocolates to make even Bachelorettes nauseous. Love poured out of characters mouths...
Glee Season 3: Episode 12: “The Spanish Teacher” “You went from La Cucaracha to a bull-fighting mariachi, why don’t you just dress up like the Taco Bell Chihuahua and bark the theme song to Dora the Explorer.” Grab your pogs and beanie babies, last night marked the triumphant return of 1999. Ushered in by Mr. He Bangs himself, Ricky inspired a night of Latin music. The evening’s theme was being honest about what you...
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