Criminal Minds Season 7: Episode 19: Heathridge Manor “There’s gotta be some sort of connection to the devil here…” Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story… Heathridge Manor. Once there was a family, just your typical family living in a giant mansion where it often rained. They did normal family activities, like read bedtime stories and have dance parties and destroy the devil living inside innocent women....
Criminal MindsSeason 7: Episode 17: I love you, Tommy Brown “So her desperation outweighed rationale.” The majority of episodes this season of Criminal Minds have focused more and more on the unsub’s drama, and less on the profiling. This is terribly annoying for two reasons: 1. I love seeing the team magically formulate the perfect profile and 2. grading characters that only speak three lines can be somewhat challenging. But this week I had...
Criminal Minds Season 7: Episode 16: A Family Affair “I always told you that mommy would take care of everything.” Hey, y’all. Lady Fantastic here, filling in for AMatch, with a very important announcement: Parenting is hard. I don’t know this from actual personal experience, because the universe might collapse in on itself like a dying star if I ever reproduce, but I have a shit-ton of younger siblings. And what I’ve learned from...
Criminal Minds Season 7: Episode 14: “A Thin Line” “You did what you thought was right, that’s all you can do. The rest of it, that’s not up to us, that’s the job.” You’re awoken from your peaceful slumber to your dad telling you to hide and call 911 while gunshots are heard down the hall. Add a tornado to the mix and you have what I would deem the scariest possible scenario on...
Criminal Minds Season 7: Episode 13: “Closing Time” “Sometimes you have to move on, but sometimes you can’t move on. That’s no way to live.” We begin this week’s episode with a stereotypical teenage beach party. You have your classic bonfire, solo cups, insipid banter, and blood-dripping down from the lifeguard tower. Hold up, I’m sorry, I have to stop there. I just can’t go on without addressing this horribly heartbreaking travesty that is...
Criminal Minds Season 7: Episode 12: “Snake Eyes” “You knew both victims. That’s weird.” Man of Steel? Check. Promising ties to the mob? Got it. The excitement and flashiness of gambling? Affirmative. All odds are favoring this to be a great episode and yet, it’s a bust. Instead of an exhilarating story weaving together an unstable homicidal gambler and the path of destructive he leaves in Atlantic City, we stumble through the episode at...
Criminal Minds Season 7: Episode 12: “Unknown Subject” “Your monster is dead, I have to live with mine.” Criminal Minds celebrates 150 episodes with an all-out, top shelf crazyfest full of piano power ballads, endless who dunnits?, and lots of emotions. I had high hopes for this episode going in and while I wasn’t exactly let down, my socks weren’t knocked off. (Yeah, that’s a phrase.) The episode hit the ground running and didn’t...
Criminal Minds Season 7: Episode 11: “True Genius” “Even a serial killer has to grow-up.” Criminal Minds drilled down to the heart of an important social issue this week: child prodigies and the perilous road they travel to become fulfilled adult geniuses. I never realized how dangerous a wunderkind’s life could be. Clearly, I speak for everyone when I say that I was under the assumption that a prodigy’s life has three stages: You...
Criminal Minds Season 7: Episode 10: “The Bittersweet Science” “Sometimes, I want to fight, but my body keeps telling me to stop. It doesn’t matter how hard I punch, I can’t do it. And when that happens you know what I do? I let go, Ryan. And what I figured out is letting go doesn’t meant that you’re a quitter, it doesn’t mean that you lost, it just means that you realized in that...
Criminal Minds Season 7: Episode 9: “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy” “I’m Italian, it knows better.” After spending two long weeks away from the team, we’re welcomed back with an intense case that has questioning who the bad guy is more than an episode of Pretty Little Liars. The episode includes a mass military school suicide, troubled killer cadet, a father set on revenge, an evil colonel warden and, just for kicks, some drinking problems! Every time...
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